Things they don't tell you in "What to Expect When you are Expecting"

Before you were born, Katy, I read lots of books on pregnancy (including the good ol' standard, "What to Expect When you are Expecting"), breastfeeding, child-rearing ("Happiest Baby on the Block"), etc., etc. in order to be prepared for "All Things Katy!" While I knew- and expected!-motherhood to be challenging, rewarding, fun and teachable, the following is my own personal list of a dozen things that all of these books seemed to either gloss over or forgot to mention... ;-P

1. You need to either be ambidextrous or one-handed to be a mother. With a babe in arms, it's amazing what one can accomplish one-handed- brushing your teeth, preparing a meal, typing... just haven't quite mastered flossing with one hand... hmmm...
2. You need ten arms (or at least another pair of hands) in order to get out the door with everything you need- baby- check, purse- check, diaper bag- check, blanket, toy, extra diapers, nursing cover- check, check, check, check, keys for the car.... ummmm...?!
3. You learn to do everything FAST!!!!!!! You eat FAST, you shower FAST, you make the bed FAST because you need to make the most of your free moments and the moment you start any one of these things, that is when the baby starts to cry.
4. There is never a "good" time to make a phone call because inevitably, the moment you pick up the phone to call somebody/someplace that is when the baby starts crying.
5. Breastfeeding is hard work and no, it doesn't come naturally. However, once you and baby get the hang of it, you feel like you can accomplish anything.
6. You are a-okay walking out the door with no make-up and spit-up on your shirt. Nothing seems to phase you.
7. You take more supplements and vitamins pregnant and as a new mother than when you were just a healthy adult.
8. Three o'clock in the morning is a perfectly respectable time to be checking your email, updating your Facebook status and surfing the Internet (with a babe in arms, of course! :-)
9. Baby clothing is sized just like adult clothing- nothing is consist ant and sizing varies widely between brands (my two and a half month old fits into newborn AND three months...?!).
10. Your life was never so simple (baby eats, sleeps and poops) and yet so complicated (to work or not to work, daycare, family, friends, finances...) at the same time.
11. There WILL come a time when you become one of THOSE parents (crying baby in the middle of the grocery store, latecomer for an event, etc., etc.).
12. Your baby's squishy cheeks, winsome smile and endearing coos make everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING!) worth it in the end because you couldn't be more in love with something so short, squat, chubby and needy!